Christian Forgiveness:
Seven Steps to Growth in Forgiveness
Gratitude and Forgiveness are two foundational Christian Virtues lived out by us as Citizens of Heaven (Phil 3:20) here on earth. One is easy the other is hard.
Gratitude is the easy one. It's often talked about, encouraged by others and very straight forward to live.
Forgiveness is much harder, for we have to confront all the pain and harm that is done to us when someone betrays us, lashes out at us or simply ignores us.
Yet without forgiveness in our lives, we cannot understand the forgiveness offered by our heavenly Creator.
This is what makes Christian Forgiveness different from secular forgiveness. It focusses on God rather than on what the Self gets out of it.
And don't worry about causing concern in the person you forgave. God's forgiveness always opens doors of reconciliation and love, even if it takes a little while to do it.
Jesus Said:
" For if you forgive others
their trespasses,
your heavenly Father
will also forgive you;
but if you do not forgive others,
neither will your Father
forgive your trespasses."
(Matt 6:14-15)
This simply means that if you are unable to participate in God's forgiveness, you will not be able to experience, understand, and therefore live in forgiveness yourself.
You have taken yourself away from God's forgiveness and so separated yourself from the love, grace and forgiveness of God.
You are not allowing God to live in you.
Loneliness and feeling alone will be your choice.
Step 1 - Acknowledge the Pain
Acknowledge the pain, admit you’ve been hurt. The tears, resentment, anger are all sign posts that something important is happening in your life.
It’s all real. It's a part of being human. Journal about it, talk to others, seek professional help so that you can be clear about what is really going on in your heart.
Step 2- Live God's Forgiveness
Look to God to understand what Godly forgiveness is. Seek out the places Jesus talks about forgiveness. Discover the forgiveness of the Jesus is our source and strength for what we need to do.
Jesus on the Cross is the ultimate example of forgiveness.
God's Forgiveness leads to healing, reconciliation and unity with our Creator, the Son and the Holy Spirit .
Step 3 - Step in THEIR shoes
Imagine being on the other side – Look at the situation from their eyes, walk in their shoes.
Remember when you needed forgiveness and how deeply God understood and patiently waited for your awareness.
See the ones who have harmed you from God’s point of view….. live in the highest form of love: Agapé Love, the Unconditional Love of Jesus. Let the Holy Spirit guide you.
Step 4 - Forgiveness vs TRUST
You can forgive instantly.
Trust needs work, time and commitment to healing on both sides.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean being vulnerable and letting yourself be hurt again.
Boundaries are important, but not a hardened heart will only leave you bitter and broken.
God does not expect you to be a doormat. Instead fill your life with love so that God can help you transcend the hurt and pain.
Step 5 - Let GO of the hurt
Sit quietly and let God melt your pain and disappointment. Read Psalm 34, Psalm 6, Psalm 41.
When you find yourself obsessing on the pain, getting angry, bitter or discouraged, turn it over to God and rest in God's arms trusting in God's wisdom and strength.
Pray the Lord's prayer as a prayer of Trust. Or simply pray:
“Jesus the Christ,
the Messiah, Son of God,
have mercy on me a sinner.”
Step 6 - A Forgeness Lifestyle
Forgiveness is more than just saying a prayer and moving on.
It’s a serious decision that you make over and over again.
Look for ways to live in a framework of forgiveness every day. Practice forgiving in little ways so as to be prepared for more challenging times.
The process of making this a daily habit will most likely be uncomfortable and perhaps painful, but the gift of love in the midst of reconciliation is Holy!
Step 7- Pray for them AND you
Strengthen you relationship with God. Spend time listening for God's prompts and wisdom. Pray for the person or persons who hurt you.
Ask God to bless the person who hurt you with Faith, Hope and Love.
Pray for yourself to be more forgiving, more graceful, more filled with God's Holy Spirit.
“I can do all things
through God
who gives me strength”
(Phil. 4:13)